Dear Lara,
As Johnny Mathis says well in his song, it's "Too much, too little, too late." (read more...)
Let's begin with a "reality check". It’s much easier for employers to sweeten the pot to keep you than it is to conduct an expensive and time-consuming search to replace you. Add to this the loss of intellectual property, production during your replacement's ramp up and morale if you are someone with a lot of cultural currency.
Think about what goes through the Manager's head when someone gives notice:
- “This is couldn't be at a more worse time. We've got a software release next week!”
- “Everyone looks up to Joe. This is going to be really bad for morale. I wonder who will follow him?"
- "Sara built this project from the ground up. I will never be able to replace her!"
- “My team is already stretched to the limit as is. I can't take losing another person.”
- “He was my go-to guy. The fact that I didn't see this coming is going to make me look bad.”
Now, this is what they will actually say to keep you there...
- “Really? I didn't know that you were unsatisfied. What can I do to make it better for you?"
- “There are great plans in the works, we just haven't had a chance to tell you yet."
- “Let's make your next raise effective right now.”
- “You can't be serious!!! You are going to work for who?”
It's human nature for the manager to protect their best interests. And it’s also human nature for the candidate to want to stay at their current job since career change, like all new paths into the unknown, is tough. Managers know this and will leverage your fear of change to their advantage.
Listen...resigning will always be an uncomfortable process. But when you add a counteroffer to the table, things can get pretty emotional and dangerously subjective for the candidate. So think about the following universal truths before ever considering a counteroffer:
- Any situation is suspect if an employee must receive an outside offer before the present employer will implement the improved changes (more money, promotion, better working conditions, shift in duties). Counteroffers are only made in response to a threat to quit. Will you have to solicit an offer and threaten to quit every time you deserve a raise or promotion?
- No matter what the company says when making its counteroffer, you’ll always be a fidelity risk. Having once demonstrated your lack of loyalty (for whatever justifiable reason), you may lose your status as a team player and your place in the "inner circle". Employers will always wonder when/if you will look again.
- Sometimes counteroffers are usually nothing more than a stall device to give your employer time to replace you. It's true! And 6-9 months after you decided to stay, you could find yourself unexpectedly "laid off" or moved to another group.
- Your reasons for wanting to leave your job will likely still exist. They’ll just be slightly more tolerable in the short term because of the raise, promotion or promises made to keep you. In the long term however, the real issues behind why you left (work culture, company direction, level of support, challenge of the work, etc..) will not have changed and will bubble up once again to create disenchantment with your job
Remember to ask yourself... WHY are you leaving this job in the first place? If the counteroffer conditions solve this 100%, then you should stay. But, since cash is always the primary counteroffer tool and usually never the real reason for leaving, this will be pretty rare.
The message here isn't "NEVER" accept a counteroffer. It's to "ALWAYS" question the motives of the employer when this happens and think objectively before getting caught up in the flattery of the whole process.