An hourly employee of a company that employs a lot of people to do a lot of the same kind of work, complained that he felt as though his employer held his job hostage. “Why is it if I want to go to a ball game or concert, I can’t ask for the time off on short notice when there is obviously enough coverage to accommodate it?" One might respond "Hey, build a bridge and get over it!" I won't, because I understand the frustration ... I really do (speaking directly to his situation) but now YOU need to understand, understand first, why a manager may act that way. To do that, you have to put yourself in h/her shoes.

In settings where employees have the potential to learn and develop or where there is room to move up in the organization; or they are paid upon performance or have some other stake in the business, those employees are internally motivated to be at the top of their game. It is wonderful to be a manager with people who are internally motivated. Are the majority of your co-workers motivated that way? Is the job to many of them “just a job”; that they can take it or leave it? When you know and begin to understand that mindset you start to understand why certain managers, not all, behave as if they have a right to hold your job hostage.

Say for example you are the manager with a retail convenience store chain where many of your employees are high school or college students, there for the time being, not for a career. Try to imagine how difficult it is to motivate them to go above and beyond, to ‘be the best they can be for the sake of the company!’ That sort of motivation has to originate with the employee; it cannot be instilled by the manager. In this example the employees are there to put in the time and leave, save the few who perhaps want to be the "Store Manager" some day – one in ten; one in twenty?

Some managers would see a challenge in working with employees who would just as soon quit with no notice to go to the movies that evening with their buddies. Other managers would only be frustrated. Managers in the latter environment grow thick skin over time and some will begin to care less and less about individual circumstances. It’s just plain “no” across the board! Now you are less likely to find that employee mindset in a majority at say, Ford Motor Company which employs many skilled and unskilled workers on an hourly pay basis. Nevertheless there too, if you want to leave or stay home one day, either you have to have professional time due to you or sick days available, for that manager will also likely say "no".

This probably does not help to make you feel any better, but could be helpful to know; maybe you might even feel a little empathy. In fact, if you could express empathy, conceivable, over time a "connection" may develop between you and your manager and who knows, maybe it will be more palatable for you even if you do not agree with h/her thinking.

Yes, it is easier to say "Hey, build a bridge and get over it!"...or..."if you don't like it, get out! You’re not a tree!" But maybe right now it is not something you can do. So, I think the next best thing, I guess the next best thing, is to try to understand, right? With understanding comes patience; and with patience, irritability and anger subside and the people, conditions and things around you are much easier to endure, including of course the manager who seemingly does not care. Make sense?

Hope this helps!